What is Power and Why Does It Feel So Good?

What is Power?

Power is the ability to reward and punish, and by so doing, get what one wants. In most cases, power is a matter of degree - people have more or less of it depending on the situation. Having more power makes it easier to lie, cheat, steal, inflict pain, or otherwise engage in bad behavior.

Having less power means being at the mercy of someone more powerful. Being at the mercy of another person means feeling one cannot get away from them, because they have something one wants badly and that something is not readily available elsewhere.

There are a couple ways to deal with being on the short end of the power stick. One is to change what one wants and the other is to have alternative ways to get what one wants.

The power to leave is not the same thing as the “strength” to leave. The latter implies power dynamics can be reduced to psychology. I see power dynamics as an interaction between psychology and the world. Having alternatives to a bad situation is not just a matter of the right mindset (“Yes, I can!”). Having alternatives is also a matter of opportunity. We create opportunities and the world presents opportunities.

For instance, employers have more power over workers in a depressed labor market and less power over workers in a tight labor market. Workers increase their power to the extent they have in-demand skills. Having in-demand skills carries an implicit threat: treat me well or I will leave.

Why Does It Feel So Good?

Power feels good partly because the sense of personal control feels good. Even babies are delighted when they can make something happen. Ha ha! I made the mobile move! The rush doesn’t go away as we get older.

Perceived control is the sense of personal control over one’s state, behaviors, environment, and important outcomes. High perceived control tends to soften the blows of outrageous fortune by activating action plans to make things better.  Low perceived control sharpens the sting of adversity because it makes us feel helpless and hopeless. Individuals who chronically lack a sense of control tend to become angry and disengaged: there's nothing I can do to make a difference, so why bother? People who are confident of their ability to handle whatever comes their way tend to be less anxious and fearful. That is also a good feeling.

Then there’s the dopamine-fueled pursuit of desire. The pursuit feels great when we think we will probably get what we want - when the challenge is moderate but feels doable. If we’re sure we’ll get what we want, the pursuit becomes boring.

The ability to get one’s way ceases to be a source of satisfaction when it becomes entirely predictable. And thus the lust for power wants to extend its reach, to stretch what it thought was possible, to take on new challenges, to feel that rush again.

Powerful people tend to be strongly goal-directed - that is, focused on getting or achieving what they want. Which can turn other people into mere means to the desired end. Which hardens the heart. Which is why absolute power kills, even when the goals are noble.