For those who want to understand the Other Side better, a few do’s:

  • Strive to be humble about your own grasp of the relevant facts

  • Listen and ask questions

  • Make an effort to see whether the Other Side has a valid point despite what appears to be flaws in their presentation

  • Consider the Other Side’s argument on its merits and not on what you assume is a hidden agenda

  • Ask the Other Side how they arrived at their current opinions

  • Seek common ground – and then expand it. 

And a few don’ts:

  • Paint the Other Side with a broad brush: they’re not all the same.

  • Attribute the opinions of the most extreme of the Other Side to the whole lot. 

  • Psychologize or otherwise reduce opinions you don’t share to the personal qualities or motives of those who hold them. 

  • Mindread – that is, ignore the other side’s expressed thoughts and motivations in favor of what you consider their “real” thoughts and motivations. 

  • Indulge in caricature or cartoonish portrayals of the other side. 

Yeah, this is all very idealistic and it’s no guarantee that differences will be resolved. More often than not, our own willingness to engage will not be reciprocated. That doesn’t mean you don’t keep trying.