I’m on vacation the rest of May and will be re-posting some of my earlier posts. This one’s from August 2016.
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In the last post I said that anxiety and fear are more responses to the absence of comforting beliefs than the presence of uncomfortable beliefs. It’s like with attachment theory, where so much hinges on whether the toddler perceives the caregiver as a safe haven. A toddler that lacks such faith in the caregiver copes poorly with stress and uncertainty. A toddler who is securely attached to the caregiver is freer to explore new environments, confident there will be a secure base to return to.
Secure attachment provides a foundation for resilience and a sense of control. A secure toddler can always return to home base, where she will be safe and loved. Or at least she will have faith that the caregiver will return. That certainty encourages exploratory behavior – going where baby has not gone before – which in turn increases tolerance of uncertainty and a willingness to power through anxiety....resulting in a succession of discoveries and delights, setting the stage for more confident explorations.
Of course, early experience is not destiny.
Reference:
Ainsworth, MD (December 1969). "Object relations, dependency, and attachment: a theoretical review of the infant-mother relationship". Child Development. Blackwell Publishing. 40 (4): 969–1025. doi:10.2307/1127008