First there was the 1944 movie, which inspired the original sense of gaslight: to manipulate someone into thinking they’re crazy, as in ready for the asylum . Then came some definitional tinkering in the 2010s, when gaslighting no longer conveyed its target was imagining things in general, just certain things in particular, such as taking a friendly touch as a sexual move or a joke as a putdown. Around this time, journalists, social scientists, and even philosophers provided helpful lists of expressions associated with gaslighting to help individuals and groups recognize when they’ve been victims. For example*:

  • Don’t be so sensitive.

  • Don’t be so paranoid.

  • I was just joking!

  • That’s all in you.

  • You’re overreacting.

  • Don’t get so worked up.

  • That never happened.

The meaning of gaslighting seems to be morphing again, from suggesting some kind of emotional/perceptual impairment - an inability to be objective - to merely disagreeing. For example, the 2022 opinion piece**, “Here Are Five Prime Examples of Biden Gaslighting Conservatives” lays out what’s wrong with various Biden policies, as if the existence of these policies is enough to prove the gaslighting of conservatives. (Perhaps conceiving and implementing said policies implies that conservative concerns went unheeded and not to heed means not to take seriously because it’s all in their heads?)

Of course, to disagree with someone does imply they are not “in touch” with all the relevant facts. But if there’s no essential difference between disagreeing and gaslighting, why would we even need the word gaslight?

I still think gaslighting is a useful concept. For one thing, gaslighting is a possibly harmful behavior with little redeeming value, while disagreement can be beneficial, as when it functions as a spur to greater understanding and knowledge. Where would democracies and science be without an openness to disagreement?

So I’m going to keep saying “stop gaslighting me!”, sparingly and as appropriate, not as a cheap shot to get someone to shut up because I don’t like what they’re saying but when they dismiss my words in a way that casts doubt on my sincerity, intentions or capacity to be objective.

* Abramson, Kate. "Turning up the lights on gaslighting." Philosophical perspectives 28 (2014): 1-30. https://www.jstor.org/stable/26614542

** EJ Antoni, “Here Are Five Prime Examples of Biden Gaslighting Conservatives”, November 7, 2022 https://www.heritage.org/progressivism/commentary/here-are-five-prime-examples-biden-gaslighting-conservatives