Self-regulation is often defined as a homeostatic process: you’ve got the set point (goal, standard, value, or ideal); you detect a discrepancy in your “system” (e.g., goal-incongruent behavior, goal-undermining internal state – like feeling rage when you’re trying to be nice); and then you take corrective action (e.g., shut the fuck up, take a deep breath, walk away).  Just like how a thermostat works. According to one time-sampling study, we are self-regulating about half our waking hours. Usually everything goes smoothly, the process is pretty automatic, we rarely notice, or at least rarely remember (unless beeped by some researcher right after we have righted ourselves). Most of the time, we’re successful at self-regulating - back on track, no problem. Temptation resisted. Angry words suppressed. Attention redirected to the lecture.

Self-regulation doesn’t have to be reactive only. We can proactively self-regulate to avert potential dysregulation. Eat a snack before grocery shopping.  Practice yoga. Or do a little “mindful” breathing before walking into that meeting. Relaxed and ready for the challenge.

References:

Hofmann, Wilhelm; Baumeister, Roy F.; Förster, Georg; Vohs, Kathleen D. Everyday temptations: An experience sampling study of desire, conflict, and self-control. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol 102(6), Jun 2012, 1318-1335. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/a0026545

Inzlicht, M., Legault, L. and  Teper , R. Exploring the Mechanisms of Self-Control Improvement Current Directions in Psychological Science August 2014 vol. 23 no. 4 302-307