“Self-regulation is defined here as the process of purposefully directing one’s actions, thoughts, and feelings toward a goal (Carver & Scheier, 2011). A goal is a cognitive construct that specifies an intended outcome, typically one that is relatively long in duration and wide in scope compared to immediate or hedonic goals. For example, “quit smoking” is a goal that might require self-regulation for a smoker because it would compete or conflict with the immediate goal to “smoke a cigarette”. My working definition, then, is that self-regulation is the capacity to enact psychologically distant goals in favor of psychologically proximal ones.” -Berkman (2016)
I disagree with Berkman. Thinking about my own struggles with self-regulation, the struggle is only sometimes about Big Picture goals (e.g., long-term or broader) competing with Small goals (e.g., “immediate or hedonic” goals). Often the struggle is between (or among!) goals of similar “levels”. Like whether to say or not what I believe to be true. One side of the struggle may play the role of the “temptation” (just say it!) and the other side is advising caution (she doesn’t care, so what’s the point?). More sides may chime in (in the long-term, she’ll benefit, even in the short-term she’ll be dismissive; or, if you say it enough, it will eventually make an impression; or, it really doesn’t matter – it is pride that insists on truth-telling and humility is a virtue).
Berkman also seems to assume that long-term or broader goals are better in some way. But often the struggle is when to give in and when not to – when to yield to the immediate pleasure or impulse and when to resist. When restraint is the default, giving in can be effortful. Living a life of pleasure can be a “broad goal” with deep philosophic roots. (Check out Epicurus on that score).
There is a time to give into temptations and a time to resist them. Whenever there’s a tug-of-war among competing goals, and you have to override one behavior or goal in favor of another, self-regulation is involved. Enjoying what the moment has to offer is a worthy goal. When to honor that goal is the question.
Reference:
Berkman, Elliot T. Self-regulation training. To appear in K. D. Vohs & R. F. Baumeister (Eds.), Handbook of Self-Regulation: Research,Theory and Applications (3rd Edition). New York: Guilford.