This mission is not all that different from that of a parent: provide a secure base while encouraging the child to leave its safety to explore the world. And thereby suffer and thrive.
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Explorations Outside
Individuals who favor "avoidance goals" tend to feel less in control, less satisfied with their progress, and less competent than individuals with lots of "approach goals". In other words, their happiness feeder streams have become mere trickles.
Personal initiative is a proactive and goal-oriented mindset, characterized by long-term focus and persistence in the face of obstacles and setbacks. Such a mindset is action-oriented, planful, and anticipatory: quickly turning goals into actions - with back-up plans ready just in case.
Essence means "the basic, real, and invariable nature" of something. And it is in that sense that I see a tendency for some of us to interpret a person's moment of insensitivity, provocativeness or even hate as proof of their essence, as if whatever appeared to be benign or good-natured before was just a sham that obscured what the person "really" is.
How do we find a balance between satisfaction with what is and wanting more? Easy for an old person to say: it is enough. Not so when you’re young and chomping at the bit.
Americans are still a fairly socially mobile people, but part of the population is stuck. What can the US government do to help these folk? Some ideas...
If I'm a roofer living in a working class neighborhood, I'm not measuring my status against super-rich CEOs or Hollywood superstars, I'm looking at how my relatives, neighbors, friends, associates, and fellow roofers are doing.
...happiness as felicity contains multitudes: a sweet and humble sense of well-being that comes from productive labor in harmony with one's nature and the world, mixed with gratitude for one's good fortune and satisfaction at being able to share the fruits of one's labor.
When Thomas Jefferson penned the Mighty Declaration, happiness was more than "being in the zone" or an internal state that accompanies smiling and laughing. Happiness was frickin' virtuous! Happiness was akin to felicity, a sense of wellbeing that comes from fruitful labor in harmony with the world.
Rational Choice Theory (RCT) is not a theory about human nature. It's an idealized model that helps economists and political scientists make hypotheses and predictions..."Rational" doesn't mean uninfluenced by "desires, novelty, status" or what have you. It means choosing actions that somehow help achieve goals
...American adults read, on average, 10-15 minutes a day - not counting perusing posts on social media, which probably falls under the category "using the computer for leisure". Of course, "on average"covers a lot of variation, from the non-readers to occasional binge readers to voracious readers.
Our co-workers shouldn’t have to worry that each time they open their mouths to speak in a meeting, they have to prove that they are not like the memo states, being “agreeable” rather than “assertive,” showing a “lower stress tolerance,” or being “neurotic.” - Google CEO Sundar Pichai
It doesn't take much to trigger the SC blues: basically you reach a threshold of unfavorable self-comparison and bam! Perhaps the SC blues is subject to a dose effect: the misery of social comparison doesn't keep ramping up with exposure to ever more dazzling people.
"Technical manuals for 47 interest inventories were used, yielding 503,188 respondents. Results showed that men prefer working with things and women prefer working with people, producing a large effect size (d _ 0.93) on the Things–People dimension."
- Su, Rounds and Armstrong (2009) Men and things, women and people: A meta-analysis of sex differences in interests.
That biology influences personality isn't saying personality is fixed or that biology has a bigger effect than other types of influence. Predispositions can be minimized, neutralized or reversed. Personal experience, socialization, and workplace culture are incredibly important. No one is denying that.
...the Diversity Memo's author says that, on average, women are more open, people-oriented, gregarious, anxious, and agreeable than men and men are more thing-oriented, systemizing, assertive, and status-driven. He further notes that biology accounts only partly for these gender differences, many of which are small, and there is considerable overlap between men and women.
Recently a Google engineer was fired for writing a very long memo about gender differences and its implications for company diversity policy. There was an uproar and he got fired. This post addresses a single word in that memo: neuroticism.
Another sense of happiness is about experiencing positive emotions. Gallup has a survey for that too – and it seems that experiencing positive emotions and being satisfied with life don't necessarily go together: country rankings are completely different.
Arguments against the Deserving Rich:
- Retaining wealth is undeserved when others are in need.
- Most wealth is acquired through exploitation and force.
- Even if ability and hard work generate wealth, luck is the ultimate cause because a person's wealth-producing qualities are a product of favorable circumstances.
- Lots of hard-working people remain poor.
- Lots of people get rich because of connections or lucky breaks.
- Size matters. No one deserves to be filthy rich.
Assuming some degree of inequality is compatible with the principle of fairness, on what basis would some people deserve more than others? In surveys and lab studies, participants have generally considered it fair to reward ability, effort, and moral behavior with more stuff. But when people are presented with hypothetical scenarios of economic good fortune, they're fine with "brute luck" as a source of riches. No begrudging the lottery winner.